Perdition
by J. Carax
Summary: In a post-apocalyptic world, Fleur contemplates the state of the world, and desires nothing more than to join the ones she loves.


**A one-shot I thought up that was initially based on my friend's admition that she was thinking of killing herself, then it all came together as I was listening to this song. It is from the 3****rd**** person point of view, and was written in the stream of consciousness. I hope you enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor the lyrics/song of Nowhere/Catastrophe by Ulver.**

**XXX**

It was over. After the war, there was just her, and nothing else. The world was a barren wasteland, lost were the sounds of life; birds chirping, people talking and moving about, the baying of dogs… it was all gone.

Gone was the world that they had all tried so hard to protect. They had given their all, leaving behind every other aspect of their lives for this one cause, and it had ultimately amounted to nothing. Nobody had been saved. Not a single trace of life remained in this desolate world. Everything had been obliterated, destroyed. 

_You fly, or rather float, drift_

_Through an enormous dark room_

_A room of noises_

Yes, she did feel like she was floating. She had been like this ever since it had all ended. Ever since her Harry had fought so valiantly to live, so survive. In the end, it had all been too much for him. Voldemort, the Death Eaters, all evil… he had done it. He had rid the world of all of it, but at the cost of the only source of good that was left. Himself. 

Some time during the battle, he had managed to banish a portkey at her, to get her out of there. She hadn't known what was going on until she opened her eyes, and found that she was no longer at the battle, but at the ruins of what had once been Beauxbatons Academy of Magic. There were still bones littered on the ground from when the school had been overrun. She couldn't remember when that had been. Hell, she couldn't remember her own age. Time had lost all meaning. 

The world was literally her room now. She had it all to herself. And while in her teens, she would have given anything to have been alone, to be away from the withering glares of her peers, jealous as she attracted all the boys to her and away from them. Now, she couldn't bear it. After she had run into him that one day… everything had been perfect. She had finally felt cared for and loved, and by the same man whom she had so disdainfully called "leetle boy" during their first meeting. Harry Potter was the one person who had been able to see past the Veela and to the person inside. 

_Endless shimmering glissandi_

_Crackling pizzicato _

_Coal black, turbulence holes of bass drones_

_But otherwise empty_

_No planets, no meteorites_

_If anything, perhaps fine dust clouds of exploded music_

She could feel the gliding sensation of the air as it passed through her. She'd loved flying with him, especially in their bird forms. She'd always known he'd be a bird animagus of some sort, he was always happiest in the air… and she was all too obliging to join him in flight in her avian form. They'd spent many an hour like that, in a state of perfect bliss, and of freedom. 

A tree near her let out a series of tiny cracks as more of its brittle branches, which had grown slowly over the span of time, were torn off by a passing breeze. She was reminded of just fragile she had discovered human life to be. Billions of people had spent months, years, and decades building their lives and cultivating those of others, only to be ended so abruptly by a magical war that lasted no more than six months. Six months. That was all it took. We had finally learnt, a bit too late, what Voldemort had been doing all of Harry's fifth year, and that was building up his army all across the globe to prepare for a large scale genocide. 

The earth, once green and brown and rich with life, was now charred black with the occasional white of bone sticking out of the wasteland. The sounds of whatever nature was left that had been a little solace for her; the whistling of the wind, the crunch of the ground beneath her feet, were now merely monotonous drones as each second passed by with agonizing slowness. But time is irrelevant when you're the only one left. She could make new time, perhaps with shorter seconds…

Even the sky was barren. The smoke from all the fires combined with the magical discharge from millions of spells being fired in such a small time period had totally blocked out any view of the stars and planets. Earth was now nearly the equivalent of Jupiter. Surrounded by a veil of gas, it must look like a giant dust cloud from above. Not that the muggle satellites had anybody to send the images to.

_You float there, somewhere between pleasure and fear…_

Yes, she was literally floating now. Tired of the sensation, she had wanted to experience it first had if it was going to haunt her so. She had reverted back into the natural Veela form, that of a silver feathered avian creature. 

Gliding… she was flying as she and Harry used to during those precious, happy times they had had together before the war broke out. It's funny, she used to think that she'd like to remember the heated moments of passion, rather than a simple pleasure such as sharing his company doing something he loved. 

Pleasure, there had been plenty of it, but no matter how good those moments were, she doubted they could rival this feeling of elation she had in her right now, as she steadily climbed higher and higher into the dim atmosphere. There was some fear present in her as well, as was natural, but it more than balanced out.

_In a piece of time you can't determine_

_You're everywhere but in the present_

_Hey, you disappear further and further_

_Into these incalculable rooms_

_As your personality fades away_

She was caught in the past, she supposed. For anything could beat this hell of a present. It was her memories of them together that had kept her from going insane. Because she needed her wits about her, now more than ever, as she prepared for her own end. 

"It is ironic"she thought, "I am the last one left alive on the planet… and I feel as if I am less of an individual. Because If I am all that is left, then I am the one who is setting the standard for everybody else, which is only me. In being alone, I've lost myself."

She was shade of her former self, in a few short weeks, her silvery blonde hair and dulled and faded into a distinct graying color. As the world vanished, it had taken everything with it. She no longer cared about her beauty anymore, she hadn't as much once Harry had undergone the task to know the Fleur behind the aura… but now there was nobody to look at her. Nobody to desire her. Nobody to impress. 

This thought freed her even more, and she climbed ever higher into the "sky."

_Your features evaporate, your body decomposes…_

She had forgotten how to smile, as there had been nothing to smile about recently. Even during the war, when Harry was around, he had somehow always been able to lighten the situation in a way that would always leave her beaming at him. Not anymore. Her face had become an emotionless mask. She hadn't bothered to try contorting it, so she just stuck with the assumption that it was stuck in its current position. 

There hasn't been any decent food to eat in months. The sudden mass discharge of magic into the air had contaminated near all of the food supply. Most of the world population had died due to this instead of being direct victims of war. As a result, her body was in a sad state. Her muscles were gone, and she almost see the bones beneath her skin, her veins had turned a sickly blue color. But she didn't care, it would all be over soon, and then that would just be natural. 

She climbed higher.

_And your last thought is that you have become a noise_

_A thin, nameless noise among all the others_

_Howling in the empty dark room_

Her wings were aching from the stress of going against the thick air that was present this high up. Finally, she could flap them no more, turned out of her avian form, and plummeted straight down to earth. 

The sound of her body going down to meet the earth was the first time she had heard beautiful music in quite a while. At this point in time, she was nameless. What is a name if there no reason to distinguish yourself? She was a nameless object hurtling towards the ground, and she found that idea to be beautiful. Her only regret now is that she probably won't be able to hear the climax of this symphony, when her body would make contact. She believed it would be a beautiful ending. 

The air was howling around her as she flew towards the exit door in this empty dark room of a world. Though she couldn't feel it, a grin that would have made the cheshire cat envious was firmly etched onto her face, which was now just as radiant as it had always been.

"I will finally… I will finally be able to see them all again… to see him again… Gabrielle, Mama, Papa, Harry…"

"I am coming."

_Nowhere… Catastrophe…_

**XXX**

The end. That was really intense to write, actually, and I hope it worked out well for all of you who decidided to read this. **Please read and review, I'm really looking forward to see how people perceive this one. **And before anybody who may know the song says this: I know that that's not the actual meaning of the lyrics, but it's how I interpreted it for this fic. 

My friend is now seeing a psychiatrist to deal with her depression, and I wish her the best of luck. 


End file.
